I Don't Care Well, Actually, I Do
by Behind The Screen It Falls
Summary: She says she had no feelings for him. What a lie to tell.   A MikuxLen oneshot based on the song Doudemo li! T just for fluffiness and for, perhaps, certain words. NEWLY EDITED


**A/n: I don't own Vocaloid or the song Doudemo li or Pokémon. I was listening to the song and this idea struck me, so please enjoy!**

**EDIT: SO I'VE REVISED THIS STORY. Because, well, I'm older now and my writing has changed. **

Len's pov

_I grasped my back as it hung over my shoulder, my eyes gazing ahead intently. In front of me stood the large, intimidating doors of my school. My palms were sweating, my face in a permanent scowl._

_I hated the first day of school._

_ My blonde locks of spiky hair blew in my face from a gentle whisp of spring air. I didn't want to be back in school-having to be responsible, well-behaved and learning things. Practice work books, math tables, being confined to rooms crammed with desks for almost the entire day-_

_That wasn't my thing._

_ I wanted to go back to the dog days of summer. Long, warm nights and sleeping in late. The ice cream sandwiches and water gun fights. _

_That's my thing._

_ I sighed. _ _My new, 4th grade class was filled with strangers, nobodies, and unknown faces. There were only two kids from my other class, these two girls who only talked about unicorns and dolls, and were complete babies. With all of their bubbly, stupid chatter and sparkly clothes-they made me sick. Naturally, __I would be alone until lunch, when I could at least talk to my sister and my friends. However, some of them would probably busy with their new friends and some were still away on vacation. Plus, I got homework due the next day during math. What kind of teacher does that?I was preparing myself for a horrible first day, worse than I predicted._

_But the saving light, I must say, was Hatsune-san. _ _The blue, twin ponytailed girl stood up a moment after her name was called for introductions, I was walking back to my seat and she bumped my shoulder roughly. I just sat down in my seat and grumbled. _ _"Yo." She said, lazily. "Hatsune Miku here. I like sports, video games, getting into fights, and burgers. I hate girly stuff and I really don't care if you're my friend or not, honestly, I could care less." The whole class was silent, even our teacher stared at the girl with a gaping mouth. Hatsune-san was pretty intimidating as she glared at each student's eyes, one by one. Finally, after a few awkward moments, she walked back to her desk, the one right behind mine. _ _'Well, she's a handful...' I thought and I continued to doodle my, what I thought at the time was, an awesome Pikachu picture. I already introduced myself, and I didn't care to listen to the other introductions, so I just let the jumble of words in one ear and out the other. I sat right up when I felt something soft tickle my neck. I turned to find Hatsune-san, only inches away from my face, glaring at my paper._

_"...You're a Pokémon fan?"_

_"Y-Yeah..."_

_"Me too. Let's talk about it at lunch." She sounded like a bully, threatening me to meet them in the back streets so she could beat me up. I didn't have anything to say to that, so she just slid back into her seat. Yet I was still frozen in shock and, although I wouldn't admit it, fear. _

_I then thought a naive thought when I thought about 'To think that there is a girl who hates girly stuff...'_

_Hatsune-san sat at the picnic table with me, gnawing on a leek between two pieces of bread. An odd lunch for an odd girl, so I guess it was fitting. I munched on my banana quietly; we both sat in silence as the breeze blew some petals around our faces and Hatsune-san's hair lifted slightly. Children were yelling and running around, while me and Hatsune-san were just sitting there, eating. I thought that she would start the conversation, but I guess that we were just waiting for the other one to speak up. _

_"...So you like leeks?"_

_"It's a spring onion."_

_"What's the differen-"_

_"Y'know, Pikachus are bad for battling. Mudkips are better. I don't know why Ash started out with such a bad Pokémon, and why does Team Rocket need that stupid Pikachu? I have 30 Pokémon that are much better than Ash's Pikachu."_

_"But Pikachu are so cool, with thunderbolt-"_

_"Whatever. A bunch of Pokémon can learn thunderbolt. Mudkips end up evolving into a Swampert, and even though they are 4x weak to grass, they PWN at high levels." I blinked at this. Honestly, I didn't care that much about the game. I just picked the starters that i thought looked cool and tried my best to win._

_"Len-kun~" Rin plopped herself down next to me. "Ah, Hatsune-San! How are you? I'm sooooo sad that we aren't in the same class this year; our class last year was sooooo much fun, right? It would be awe-"_

_"Could you be quiet, Kagamine-San? I was in the middle of an important conversation."_

_"...O-ok..." Rin looked at her orange and began to peel it silently. The skin was slowly curling as it fell to the table, and the heavy scent of orange was released. Hatsune-san then began to blabber on about Pokémon, video games, and sports until recess, and then she shoved her way into the boy's game of soccer, totally showing them whose boss. _Gosh,_ I thought, _she really is a handful!

-o-

I stared at Miku, sitting at her desk a few rows across from me. She was sighing and staring at the trees outside of the window nearby, with that uninterested look on her face. As always. Her twin ponytails were also the same as usual, absurdly long, past her hips, and her hair was slightly frazzled. Her white school uniform top was wrinkled, the bow near her neck was unraveling and the bottom of the shirt had stains all over it, and a few ruffles were torn. Her black skirt was blocked with stains as well and her tights were badly torn, revealing patches of scratched and bruised skin. She got in quite a scuffle at lunch, she threw some guys who were hitting on her into the ground, and then left them in the mud to play some soccer, where she fell on her face when kicking a goal. Honestly, she had a real good reason to be sighing, but she showed no signs of pain.

She was always sighing like that, she was rowdy, and she was easily the most annoying person I know, but I found her really cute. I mean, it was kind of inevitable, we spent a lot of time together and I couldn't help but start to notice and like her for all the little things she did. Like when she lets out a relieved sigh every time she lets her hair loose, or how she always holds pencils like they're cigarettes. I loved how she was such a strong character, always opinionated and strong willed. Only thing is, she gets lazy every now and then. I guess that can't be helped.

Miku-San and I were really good friends, but I really wanted to be more. We had such a good friendship, but she's pretty unpredictable, I was honestly scared that telling her how I felt was a death wish and the end of my longest friendship. But something rose up inside of me; a feeling of strength and bravery took me over. The courage bubbled inside of me, and I decided to take the risk and tell her the truth, even if it did earn me a fist in the jaw.

-o-

The spring air filled my nose and made my eyes itch and slightly water. I hated spring; it always made my allergies come out. And trust me, when I have allergies, I am _not _in a god mood.

So you can see how my day was pretty bad from the start.

Then there was lunch. Some 'cool guys' tried hitting on me, they were really getting on my nerves, so I socked them each in the face, gave them a piece of my mind, and left them in the mud. They were lucky that they were able to walk away after a few minutes, and that I didn't hunt them down a little later. That wasn't the only annoying highlight from the day- I took an embarrassing spill when playing soccer; both of those events left my uniform totaled. I was probably going to get yet another lecture from my mom about how I should be more lady like and how I shouldn't sock people in the face so much and how I should be more careful when playing sports blah blah.

Same old, same old.

Plus, I had a ton of homework to do, so I probably would be up till 2am and not getting to play any video games (including my new Pokémon game) since my mom would nag me to go to sleep.

Not my day.

I stormed out of class the moment the bell rang so I could get home and I would be one step closer to tomorrow. I also had a suspicion that the principal would be hot on my tail for my lunch time incident.

"Miku-San!" I heard Len-kun yell behind me, the pitter-pattering of his shoes soon stopped.

"What?" I turned to find his baby blue eyes staring right into mine, then he looked away to face the floor and his face was blushing. We stood for a moment like that in an unusually light alley that was a quick escape path from school to the train station. We took it frequently, especially if I ran into trouble that day.

"Did another one of your 'heroic attempts' epically fail? Funny thing is that you don't look hurt..." Len always tried to be heroic and strong, he, along with the rest of our friends and myself, would always be getting into scuffles and horsing around in the back alleys and at lunch. Len was all talk and no fight, he always ended up with a black eye or bruised arm, and never did much damage. Yet he still tries. Sometimes I have to stick up for him, but I don't mind. He's my friend, no matter how weak he may be.

"N-No!" Len rubbed his neck. "But I do have something to tell you..." He inhaled deeply. "But no matter what I say, I wanna know if we can still be friends..." I had a slight idea as to what he was going to say, but I shoved the mushy thought out of my mind. Mushy thoughts weren't my thing.

"Just tell me, I have too much to do today to be wasting my time with idle chit chat."

"...Thus isn't idle chit chat, Miku-San."

"Yeah, it is-but whatever. Just say what you need to say."

"M-Miku-san, I-I really like you... And I-Will you go out with me?" My heart skipped a beat. Len-kun, asking me out? I didn't know what to say, but I ended up saying something. It took me a minute to even realize that I said it.

"I don't care about how you feel about me." With that I continued walking down the alley, leaving Len standing dumb founded behind me.

I was so mad at myself, I could believe myself. I listened to my iPod the whole way home to block the shame inside of me. The breeze pushed against my back the whole way home, as if it was shoving me, saying, "You should have told the truth!"

"Dammit!" I kicked open the door to my home. My parents weren't home yet, and I knew that, so I could release my anger without any speculation. I just threw my bag down and ran to my room. My teal bed and spring onion body pillow welcomed me as I fell onto them, letting myself cry for the first time in awhile. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw Len-kun. I couldn't get him out of my mind. I was waiting for the day when he would like me back, I liked him since the end of middle school, and I was already a 2nd year high schooler! I just couldn't tell him myself, I'm too strong headed to get all mushy and romantic like that.

Len's face was so child-like and cute and he could be immature sometimes, but he could also be real mature. He could be a tough guy if he tried to be one and maybe worked out a little...And maybe if he worked on having more courage. Whenever a punch is thrown in a scuffle, he chickens out and it's really adorable. Sometimes, I kick myself for not liking someone stronger, though. Because cute isn't really something I gravitate towards.

His blonde hair was so silky soft, and was always thrown up into a loose, tiny, ponytail and his fringe was always messy. His laugh and smile were so warm, it just melts my heart. But I'm such a cold fish that I never let anyone see how I really feel. I'm so good at hiding behind this mask I always wear, I kinda consider myself an actress.

"Damn, Len-kun, why do you have to be so cute?" I threw my pillow on the floor in a flurry of frustration, and then sighed. I was being such a typical teenage girl, and that was killing me along with my regrets. I had to tell him. He was probably wondering if I was still his friend, I never denied or accepted his promise.I actually just flat out told him that I didn't care if he liked me or if he even wanted to be my friend. Which couldn't be farther from the truth. I grabbed my phone and called him, little did he know that I knew his phone number by heart.

There I go again, being a sappy teenager.

"Hi there, it's Len Kagamine. I'm not at the phone right now, but leave a message and I will call you back as soon as I can!" The phone beeps.

His cute voicemail just killed me inside. "Len-kun...Miku-san here...I wanna talk. Please." I slapped my phone shut and threw it on my bed. "Dammit! My math project!" I ran downstairs to grab my bag and I tried to shove Len to the back of my mind. I had to, if I wanted to do that project. I spent the entire afternoon and night working on it, and I had to call Len a few times too. I even called Rin, and risked getting dragged into some two hour long conversation that i didn't care about. But she said he refused to talk to me, which broke my heart. I had plenty of trouble sleeping that night. My terrible, teenage girl thoughts were eating away at me, and I hated it.

-o-

"Len-kun~" Rin called from outside my door. I groaned and looked up from my book. "Guess who is on the phone and wants to talk to you?" I groaned again.

"Tell her to piss off." 15 missed calls and 30 messages. This wasn't like her at all.

Her response to me earlier, however, was totally in character.

I was expecting it, to be perfectly honest. I knew she didn't like a wimpy little thing like me. She probably wanted some strong guy who wouldn't be afraid of wrestling with her or something. Or a guy with major abs. Or even a guy with both.

But not me, I was the farthest thing from that.

So I was expecting a cold response, or a laugh in my face. But not something that gave me the feeling that she no longer cared if I stayed her friend. I actually thought that I was more to her than that, someone who she at least liked having around and felt was someone was actually close to her. I guess that I wasn't, because it seems like she wouldn't care if I dropped off the face of the earth.

That hurt more than rejection.

"Uh..." I could just imagine Rin's slightly confused face, one eyebrow probably cocked upwards. "L-Len-kun can't talk right now..." She said into the phone as she walks away. She was right. I couldn't talk, I was hurt like some girly, heartbroken, teenager, which I was completely unprepared for. I looked out my window, and decided that if she didn't care, I wouldn't care either.

Childish, maybe, but it was the only thing that seemed logical at the time.

-o-

I didn't have any classes with Len-kun that day, and during homeroom he was running an errand. Rin-chan was absent too, so all of this just peeved me off. I sent Len a few text messages and called him a bunch of times and not once did he get back to me. I felt like he was avoiding me. I bet that he was. I would probably avoid myself too.

That day, rain fell over me and the deep gray sky just made me even more depressed. With the twins nowhere in sight, I sat alone at lunch, nibbling on my spring onion sandwich as slowly as I could, to make it last all through lunch. I was in no mood to talk with anyone, not even my other friends or play soccer. So I just sat there and sighed. I didn't realize how much I missed Len and his big mouth, his usual lunch sitting on the table right next to mine, and his body so close to me, but not touching. I missed his bright smile illuminating the dar days.

Man, I was really becoming a typical, lovestruck teenager.

I decided to sigh for the 100th time that day.

-o-

I thought that not caring about Miku would be much harder than it actually was. It was pretty easy. I just walked into school with my head held high and with my other friends at my side. I refrained from looking at her, or being in the same hallway as her for more than a few minutes. And I actually felt pretty good and focused. Things were shockingly bright for such a drab time, and I was still able to laugh and smile. Without her. I did amazingly well on my science test too, so I thought that perhaps, it was fate-That we weren't meant to be.

Thinking about that at the end of the day made my heart sink. The day suddenly seemed bleak and I suddenly felt sad. Maybe I was wrong.

-o-

"Where is my umbrella...?" I fumbled through my bag as I stood in the doorway of the school; classmates were swarming out of the doors all around me. I looked up, and in the distance, shining like the sun in a sky of gray clouds, was Len-kun. I shoved my way through the crowd to reach him, not listening to the complaints of the students I pushed through. "Len-kun!" I called his name once I was behind him and he turned around. Once he did so, I grabbed him by his collar and pulled him down an alley between the gym and main school building. That was a little rough, now that I think about it.

"Ow..." He rubbed the front of his neck; I guess I was more than gentle when pulling him over. The pouring rain was soaking us slowly.

"...I'm sorry, Len-kun." My bangs covered my eyes slightly as I glanced at the concrete bellow Len's feet.

"Miku-san, you don't have to feel the same way that I do-" He said, in a very nonchalant matter. "If you don't want me aro-"

"I never meant for it to come out like that." I sighed. Sigh 112.

"What did you mean then?" He growled, eyes narrowing. It was pretty evident that he was mad.

"Look, I'm sorry for being such a cold fish." My eyes were still locked to the ground.

He scoffs. "Yeah, ok, apology accepted? Is that what you want?"

"I want to be friends again-"

"That ship sailed, Hatsune-san, you don't want me in your life-You told me yesterday." I shivered, he hadn't called me Hatsune-san since 5th grade.

"Why? Are you too bitter to accept the fact that I froze up yesterday and completely lied to you?" I frowned.

"Maybe." He looked at his watch. "Look, I don't have a lot of time for this, just hurry up-"

I blundered, I suddenly felt pressured. My voice grew soft, something it usually never did, and I felt my eyes water, and I knew that it wasn't because of my allergies. "I didn't mean to say that...Ever. That's the complete opposite of what I meant to say..." His eyes softened, I guess he was forgiving me slightly.

"Then what did you mean to say?"

I couldn't form the words. My lips just opened and no sounds came out. Soon I began to stammer and I realized this was going nowhere. Luckily, Len was patient with me, and spoke calmly and sweetly. Suddenly, I felt like he was the Len I used to know, as I felt my face feel more wet than before and my eyes suddenly relieved of their built up pressure.

"Miku-san, it's fine, I just had to tell you-" My lips were thrown up against his, both of our lips wet from the rain. I clenched his blazer, keeping my lips firmly pressed up against his. His lips were cold, and I hoped to warm them. Blood rushed to both of our faces-Len always looks like he has a bad sunburn. After a few moments, our lips finally separated, I opened my eyes and Len's face was blushing like I thought it would be, and he looked startled, as if he was slapped in the face.

"I like you too, Len-kun, ok?" I played with my grip on the sleeves of my jacket. "I've liked you for a long time...I was just too much of a cold fish to tell you myself."

He stood silently for a moment. "You're crying, aren't you?" No one, besides my parents, has ever seen me cry, so I wiped my eyes quickly.

"Allergies."

"No, Miku-san, you're crying."

"Shut up!" I laughed and so did he. "...I love that about you, Len-kun, you can be so playful when things are so serious!" He grabbed my hand, a soft smile across his face.

"I love how you love things about me." I squeezed his hand as we walked down the street, hand in hand.

"So do you forgive me?" I asked, biting my lip.

"Yeah." He squeezed my hand in return. "Do you care about how I feel about you?"

"Yeah..." We walked awhile, content with the other's presence and the gentle patter of the rain hitting the concrete. About a year ago, I bet that we both would say that this kind of sappy situation was totally not our thing. But, I think we realized that, even though we didn't think that it wasn't our thing, we would never know until we tried.

We would never know a lot of things if we never took the chance. Even if we pledged that it wasn't our things. Sometimes. we just don't always mean what we say.

**A/N: I hope you liked it! ^_^ Please review!**


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